Sunday, June 4, 2017

2 1/2 weeks out...

It’s hard to believe that it has been about 2 ½ weeks since my feet landed back on US soil.  My feet HIT the ground running.  Where Jet-Lag was a minimal reality going over to Uganda, Jet-Lag coming back stateside proved to be a bit of a bear.  I landed into Fort Wayne with two dear friends waiting for me.   Within a few hours of landing, I found my bed and drifted off into a relatively deep sleep.  My friend Hannah drove a LONG way from North Dakota to Fort Wayne to walk with me as I absorbed the reality of the new path God has me on.   I was so thankful for the time God gave me in Uganda.  My heart mourned and bled a lot in those days.  It also did a lot of savoring.  Savoring the bits and pieces of a life that had become home.  It was as if He gave me fresh ears and eyes.  I found myself taking pictures of the clouds, the skyline, the people, etc.  The confused roosters greeting the day hours before sunrise were met with appreciation.  With Absorption.  I struggled with the tears.  I struggled to contain them.  And yet my friends encouraged me to let them be.  To let them come.  I went down to the farm and sat with my God.  I absorbed. I prayed.  I cried.  I anticipated.  My friends threw me a surprise shower.  Homemade lotion, sweet gifts, and precious words of encouragement found their way into my heart.  Deep into my heart.  These people.  These friends.  These sisters.  Wow.  Just typing those words brings a burn of tears to my eyes.  Priceless.  On my last morning in Uganda, I woke to an email.  My house in Illinois had an offer.  A serious offer.  God had heard my prayer weeks before.  Simply asking Him if He could make my house sell.  It wasn’t a surprise to me that He let me know about it my last day in Uganda.  Hugs.  Deep hugs.  Tears.  Grabbing hands.  Absorbing.  Those were my final moments at New Hope.  So many memories there.  So many.  So many deep relationships. So many.   SO many deep connections.  So many.   I may have walked a chunk of kilometers in the saying goodbye journey.  I have a feeling there are many more to walk.  The roots were deep.  And I don’t think roots can be uprooted all that quickly.  It will take time.  It will take some more tears.  And it will take a whole lot of leaning into my God.  He’s got me.   And He is not letting me go.  And so, I continue to walk.   I’m watching Him divide the red sea right before me.  A house selling, a house buying, and a whole lot of people giving so sweetly.  I’m watching an extreme makeover home transition happen before my very eyes.  Just days after landing, Hannah and I (her hubby in the car behind) drove to Chicago where another friend and her momma threw me a shower.  Friends and family from so many different chapters of my life coming together to launch me into the next.   In no time, the house I am moving into will become more and more a home.    He’s got my nephew.  And He’s not letting go.  I haven’t quite figured out all that I will share on social media.  I am committed to being authentic and I’m equally committed to doing what’s best for this little man.  I’m trusting that God will show me the balance.  What I know right now is that none of us is alone.  No One.  God is SO into the details.  So into wooing our hearts.  So into walking this journey of life with us.  I can only pray going forward that my roots will grow deep into what He has for me going forward.  I sorta of pray that some of my roots are never uprooted. The roots of different times in my life are what make me who I am today.  I just pray that I keep looking up and keep trusting Him.  Keep trusting in His goodness today.  And tomorrow.  And the day after.  He is good.  And He is faithful.  And He is ok with the tears.  Very ok with them.