Monday, May 23, 2016

The battle is already WON.

It often takes a bit before my soul and my fingers match up...and the words begin to flow.

Today, my struggle is a bit different.  

I don't really want to blog... I don't really want to say much.... 

My heart is feeling stretched... bruised..... worn down.....

And just as I woke up from a headache this afternoon.  My head pounding from the last few days, I pulled up my twitter account.  And there was Beth Moore announcing a new blog post.  

I scanned facebook.  Looked over my twitter feed.  Got lost in the daze of the internet.  

Nothing bad... but it's crazy how much time can be lost surfing the net.  

I have high respect for Beth.   Truth be Told, I would love to sit and have coffee (or tea) with her.  There are so many questions I would love to ask.  And who knows... maybe one day God will orchestrate.  Maybe not.  I'll leave that to Him.  

Social Media.  It's not bad.  But so often for me... it's a time filler.
I love so much about social media.  But somehow for today turning on social media was like taking a vitamin when what I really needed were some serious spiritual antibiotics.  

I mean I love you all.  And social media is the very thing that keeps most of us connected.  

Like I said... it's not bad.  But I do think there is some not so great in there as well.  

I am thankful that in God's sweet sovereignty I clicked on Beth's new blog post.  

And I read.  A message to those in their 30's and 40's.   
That's me.  A woman in her 30's.  (amazing how in so many ways, I feel like I"m still in my early 20's)  

And I read.  

Truth be told, I first skimmed the blog post. 

A short while later.... I slowed myself down and I READ the words.  

And have gone back to it multiple times since.  

And I felt both encouraged and kicked.  And if there was such a thing as good kicking... this was.  

A read that  truth be told initially left me scrambling for excuses...but thankfully His whisper won out.  

God's not about condemning.  

And I can't go by just feelings.  That is the exact reason I AM bringing fingers to the keyboard.  

The reason that I am sharing from my heart.   

Everything in me wants to keep quiet. 

But there is danger in that quietness.  
Danger in letting the excuses of life outweigh the whisper of my Jesus.  
There is even danger for me in turning to social media first before turning to my Jesus.   
Real danger.  

Yesterday afternoon, I came back from church and a quick tea with a friend.  I had spent much of the weekend preparing for an 8 week journey to the capital.  My suitcase was packed and I had just a few randoms things to do before I left.  

As I was finishing the dishes, I noticed dirt on the window sill.  And so, I grabbed a rag and started wiping it down... only to notice that there was a dent in the screen.  And even in that split second an uneasiness came over me.  I reached up and touched the screen.  Instead of meeting resistance, I was met with a giving out of the screen. 

My screen had been cut.  Enough for someone to crawl through.  

I just sorta of stopped in my tracks.  

I texted for help.  And before I knew it I was surrounded by friends.  

A few hours later a dog was brought.  An attempt to track the thief.  

Didn't happen.  

There were a few trips to the police station.  Reports to be filled.  Knowing that someone has been in my house is quite unsettling.   Having things stolen... also unsettling.  

And yesterday, as I stepped away for a few minutes.... I found myself saying out loud.  The victory already belongs to Jesus.  The battle is ALREADY won.  My feelings leave me feeling vulnerable, unsettled, unsure... but I can't rest on feelings.  

 Ephesians 6: 12
12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

The truth is.  My God is with ME.  My God is personal.  He is actively involved and present both in the good and in the bad.  He is no less with me today than he was with me the day I found out my sister died.  Or the day that I held Ayeko after a life changing operation.  Or the moment I graduated nursing school.... or....... the list is endless.  

I want to keep walking.  And I will.  

Keep standing.  Keep leaning into Jesus. 

Truth be told, I need to be leaning into Jesus a WHOLE lot more than I am.  

I am encouraged by the words... and kicked in a good way with the areas of my heart that need to change.  

Because there are definitely areas of my heart that need to change.  
And areas of my heart that need to be encouraged by what I read today.  

There are new locks on my doors... and the windows have been screwed shut. 

And soon, I'll be drifting off to sleep. 

Tomorrow morning will be take two with the journey to the capital. 

Hopefully, I'll still feel the sting of the kick.  And the adrenaline of the encouragement.  

And I'll keep walking with Him and ALL that He has planned for me.  

He is good. SO SO good.  And I love Him.

PS.  Here is Beth's blog post if you would like to read her post.

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