This is the look of a little boy who is not so sure of the world around him.  

The one thing that is FOR sure for him right now is that his momma is nearby.  

He reaches out or snuggles into her almost constantly. 

Everything else in his life is a bit unknown.  

Yesterday, he went in for surgery.  

He woke up and one of his first statements to his momma was that "they took my intestines".  

So much of what has been known to this little boy is now different. 

And if he was brutally honest, I think he would say that he's not so sure about it.  

He looks often from the corner of his eyes.  

Timid. 

Nervous. 

A bit afraid. 

Not sure. 

What he doesn't know is that his life is now different.  

And that difference is a good thing.  

No more will stool leak out of an unpredictable, malfunctioning hole on his abdomen.

Starting yesterday, stool should and God-willing will follow a tunnel and exit his body just as it does for millions of people everyday.

And while that is a good thing. 

Little Ayeko isn't so sure.  

His stuffed bear thought the toilet was a great idea.  

Ayeko was much more happy sipping on juice than giving his stuffed bear too much thought.  

Especially when his bear was sitting on a toilet.  

In fact, when I snapped a family picture.  Ayeko tried to push Mr. Bear sitting on the toliet AWAY from him and his momma.  

But we celebrate what this little guy isn't so up to celebrating right now.  

We celebrate for what is to come.  

For how this little guys life will be different.  

And with that celebration, comes a sweet smile to my face.  

And I know to so many others. 

It's ok little man.  Drink your juice.  

Lean into your momma and feel the warmth and safety of her embrace.  

That's the perfect place to be.  

And on a personal note.  

Today, I'm wishing I could nestle into my family.  

To be with them all the way over that great, big ocean.  

Below is my sister's Mr. Bear.  

Patched and straggly from years of love.  

He outlived my sister. 

Today, she would have been 29.  

And today, as I helped Ayeko's bear on to the toilet, I found my own heart 

remembering my sister's bear.  

And remembering her.  

And thinking of her family.  

For her own babies who are surely missing their momma today. 

My sister who was a treasure.  

And always she will be.  

And so tonight, I'm thinking of my siblings, my sis's family, and my parents.  

And I'm leaning into my Jesus.  

It's the perfect place for my heart to be.

And OH MY WORD.  THIS is the outfit I wore (plus some stylish boots) when I met up with Sylvia last year... and she looked me up and down and "admired" my outfit.  And by admired... I mean... she got a kick out of my style.  Oh..... that memory is a gift to me tonight.  I will always love my sister. 

And I LOVE the sweet things that God has for me.... 

The gift of walking with those He puts in front of me. 

For today, it was little Ayeko.  And that kid is VERY lovable. 

Very.  

   Very. 

     Very. 

L.O.V.A.B.L.E