Fancy Mice and bouncy houses

                                                     


School was cancelled today because the windshield was 23 degrees below zero.  That’s a bit crazy if you ask me.  But I guess it’s only crazy because I have decided that it is.  The positives of this cold weather result in me bundling up and putting the seat warmer on.  Tea sounds better than ever.  Right now, I am sitting at an indoor play zone with my nephew and niece.  There are bouncy houses and slides and they are all sweaty and enjoying themselves to the max.  I expect that in a few minutes they will come to me to let me know that they are hungry.  I guess that the soda and doughnuts that they had a bit ago will not satisfy the demands placed upon them by running and jumping.  They will undoubtly need more nutrition.  I am thinking that we can pick up a movie at Redbox and go home to something a bit more healthy than what they have had thus far with their Aunt Kimmy.  It’s been 9 days since I have landed.  And it has been delightful and rich and everything in between.  And I won’t lie.  I’ve paused and I’ve wondered.  Shouldn’t the transition be more hard?  Shouldn’t It be a bit more of a struggle?  Remembering that the flusher is not on the top of the toilet seems to be the biggest challenge.  Multiple times, I have tried to turn on the turn signal with the wrong hand.  I’ve also had to remember that I can leave the water running as I wash the dishes.  Neither do I have to leave them in the sink until there’s enough to justify using water.  The feel of carpet between my toes has been a real treat and the look of frosted windows from the cover of a heated blanket is delightful.  This morning before we snacked on doughnuts and soda, we went to the pet store.  Yes, that was a bit of something.   An entire store completely dedicated to animals.  Within the four walls of that store you could find pretty much everything and anything related to animals.  Want a santa outfit for our dog?  No worries.  A large cage for your bird?  No problem! We spent a good amount of time looking at the animals.  There were lizards, fish, and a variety of birds.  And tucked into the cages were “fancy” mice and “fancy” rats.  I have to admit that I am still figuring out what makes a rat or a mouse fancy.  I studied the rat closely . It looks a lot like the rat that my friend Eric killed for me last year.  It dIdn’t seem particularly fancy to me.  I am assuming it’s a selling tactic.  I also saw a chameleon.  It could be all mine for $99 dollars. 
I smiled as I thought of my friend Beth who had a pet chameleon.  According to the pet store, taking care of a chameleon involves advanced skills.  I would agree with that assessment.  They seem fragile in Uganda and they surely look fragile in the petstore.  There was also a python tucked into a small cage.  I have to confess I felt a bit sorry for it.  But, on the positive, it was alive.  Had I come across a python back home, I would have killed it.  And oh, how I have grown in that area.  A year ago, the thought of killing an animal left me nervous and unsure.  Now, I realize that it just just a part of life.   And so, here I continue to sit.  I’ve gone on a bit of a ramble.  To be honest, there isn’t a huge purpose on all that I have just written.  Except that it’s a bit of a glimpse into my life.  A life that has one foot on one continent and another foot  in another.  It seems that wherever I am, I just shift so that the majority of my body is in the place
where I am currently.  The foot never seems to leave the place where it is planted.  Right or wrong, I do not know.   Staying connected with friends a family… a high priority.  And so today, I smile as I look at the chameleon in a small cage peering through the window at me.  He looks a lot like the chameleon back home in Uganda.  I celebrate the differences of their environment and somehow connect to the reality of a species living in two different worlds.   Two different worlds that are so different.  And yet both carry the richness of deep relationships and sweetness.   And so I keep one foot in each.  Embracing today and remembering.  Embracing today and knowing that chameleons and fancy rats are just the surface level aspects of diving into rest, rejuvenation, and processing.  

Living each moment to the fullest....

Hello from Fort Wayne, Indiana! It's a brisk cool day and I am sitting at the local coffee shop.  Today, I got behind the wheel and drove from destination A to destination B.  I was a bit nervous driving on the other side of the road.  A few times, I went to put on the turn signal...only to realize that I was trying to do so on the wrong side.  It's crazy how what has been normal for so many years can quickly become different and require conscious thought and effort.  I am thankful that there is no snow on the ground.  The trunk with most of my clothes didn't quite make it from Entebbe to Fort Wayne.  The message that we received on Wednesday was that it couldn't be located.  Without basic essentials, I took to the store on Wednesday.  It was a bit daunting to be honest.  Racks and Racks of clothes and a mind that was confused with the haziness that comes with jet lag.  At one point, I just asked my friend to pick some stuff out for me.  It was the quickest trip to Kohl's and within a short time, I had what I needed.  Later on, I met up with a bunch of friends.  Out of respect for the kids and for a friend in the throws of jet lag, we rang in the new year at 8:30 PM.  We shared goals for the upcoming year and sipped a variety of drinks. I chose Root Beer.  My goal for 2015?  To write.  A personal goal?  To make a big dent in writing a book.  How and what that looks like?  I do not know.  I just know that God has given me 4 months at home in the States.  That's a whole lot of time to be with friends and family.  A whole lot of time to rest.  A whole lot of time to spend with Jesus.  And a whole lot of time to bring fingers to the keyboard.  I'll aim on writing to an audience of One and see what happens.  Yes,  it is a goal.  But, I also see it as a posture of the heart.  What comes out, I do not know.  I just know that I am committing to writing a whole lot more.  In the last few days, I have enjoyed eating pickles, drinking Russian tea, and root beer.  I've sat with my friends and laughed.  And I've thought of my friends and family back home in Uganda.  It's good to be home and it's good to know that my home in Uganda is also there waiting for my return.  I am committed to savoring Each and Every moment of this year.  To Embrace what is in front of me.  To laugh more.  Live more.  Love more.  To Savor Each moment and to live Fully each day given me.  I refuse to give an unnecessary inch to the enemy.  An unnecessary inch to fear... or anything else that sucks life out of me.  That requires me to be firm in my standing.  To not relent.  To live in the light.  To do a whole lot of living.  And live I will.   Perfectly?  Absolutely NOT! Somehow perfectly?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  But I will rest in the truth that of the following verses.... 

Lamentations 3:22-24English Standard Version (ESV)

22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;[a]
    his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
    “therefore I will hope in him.”

SO thankful that He's got me... So very thankful that He is at my side! 

An annoying leach...

It's 11 days before I board a plane and head back to the States.  11 days with a whole lot of living that needs to happen.  Right now, I find myself at Adonai Guesthouse.... an unexpected trip in and an opportunity for a few minutes of just overlooking the city.  I am going to miss this place.  The sounds, and the smells.... and for sure the people.  And I can't lie... I am, for sure, going to be missing the warm weather.   Right now, it's about 75 degrees with a slight breeze.  The sun is peering through a few scant clouds.... and it won't be more than a few hours before the sun will be much more intense.  And in those moments... I might be missing the 75 degrees with a slight breeze.  So hard to imagine that in just a short time, I will be all bundled up..... in the coldness of Fort Wayne.  But, for sure... I will be with many dear friends.  And over the course of the next 4 months, I will have the gift of seeing many more friends and family.  It will be good.  Speaking of peering out.  It was brought to my attention earlier this week that I was peering out behind some fear clouds.  It was leaving me heavy and burdened.  I didn't even fully realize that fear had leached onto me.... until I was writing and watched as the words from within found their way to paper.  As I reread what I had written... I realized that I had an unwanted visitor.  Fear.  I think it started while I was in Nairobi.  November was a hard month for Kenya.  Over the span of about 10 days, 64 individuals were killed.  For some, it was while they were in transit on a bus from northern Kenya to Nairobi.... and for others.... it was as they were sleeping at their job in a quarry.  They were attacked by members of the Al-Shabaab group.  If anyone was able to recite from the Koran... they lived.  If they were not, they were killed.  Most were shot.  A few (with varying reports between 2-4) were hacked to death.  I was in Nairobi when both of the situations happened.   I was sitting with a handful of Kenyans as they stared at the tv screen and heard about the 36 men at the quarry.  You could palpate the pain.... the unsettleness.  And somewhere in there, that fear leached on to me.  And as it leached, it's tentacles started reaching into other areas.  I found my mind thinking of what I would do if I was faced with proclaiming Jesus or denying him.  I was fearful that i would deny Him.  That was a hard pill to swallow... because I love my Jesus.  I found my mind fearful in other areas of my life.  Fearful.  I was fearful in areas that I am not normally fearful.  I asked a friend if I could pray with her.  And we found a time.  God allowed the Skype to work near perfectly.  It was as if we were sitting face to face in one room.  I started sharing and what came out was a plethora of fear.  Fear about this... and fear about that.  What had started as a small little leach had grown into something much bigger and just like a leach, it was pulling life out of me.  And Banange... (Oh Goodness), I didn't want that.  I want life.  And so, with two computers, a Skype connection, a friend, and my God... I poured out my heart.  And as I poured out my heart... the fear left me.  And in it's place... came the peace of my God.  That night as I went to bed... my heart was peaceful.  More peaceful that it had been in a couple handful of days.

A moving thumb and Dominoes Pizza.....

The laundry is out on the line drying.   Last minute washing.... and lots of last minute things.  Our time in Kenya is coming to an end.  Tomorrow morning, we will board a plane and after a brief layover in Rwanda, will find ourselves, God willing back in Entebbe a little after four in the afternoon.  It has been 17 days since we boarded a plane in Entebbe and began an unexpected, rather unknown journey back to Nairobi.  It's been a "put one foot in front of the other" sorta journey... trusting Him to lead each and every step.  And lead He has.  Since arriving, Ketty has had 10 radiation treatments, a bone scan, chemotherapy, and various blood tests.  She has connected with her doctor and various nurses, rad techs, and taxi drivers.  One thing that has been such a blessing has been the gift of being able to be somewhere where you are known and where those who know you care for you in different ways.  The staff at Mayfield, our taxi man Joseph, and others have poured into Ketty in sweet and real ways.  Earlier this week, we went out out to an all you can eat chicken place.... one thing that has remained consistent through Ketty's journey has been her hunger and love for chicken.  Her tastebuds have craved a variety and changing diet... but chicken has and continues to remain one of her favorite foods.  We invited along our Taxi Man Joseph who has often gone beyond the call of duty... he has spent MUCH time in his vehicle waiting for us as we have waited for Ketty to get into the radiation machine... or to see the doctor.... it's been such a blessing! 

Yesterday, I hopped into a taxi and went from one hospital to another.  My goal was to pick up the bone scan results for Ketty.  It was a short spin and drive.  Within a few minutes of arriving at Agu Khan Hospital, I had Ketty's bone scan in my hands... and as soon as I rounded the corner, I opened up the large envelope... the news?  Well, no sign of cancer in the bones!  Hugely Great News! I returned back to Ketty who was receiving her chemo and shared with her the good news.  

Shortly after four, Ketty's doctor came up to the chemo suite and met up with us.  We were able to ask all of our questions and hear from him on his plan for Ketty.  As of right now, she will have another round of chemo in three weeks with the plan of having a total of eight chemo treatments.  She will need some additional blood work and tests in the coming days and weeks.  We are thankful for a plan and next steps.  We do not know how the story will end.... but one thing we do know is that the story is NOT yet finished.  We keep walking and leaning into our God.  He's got this and He's got all the details.  We choose to rest in that.    

Here is a video that Ketty and I made a few days back.... I can't get it to play for me.... which makes me think it will not play for you all... I will keep it here and also upload it on my Facebook page where it will most likely be easier to play.  

https://www.facebook.com/kimberly.white.18

A blessing for me personally has been the gift of being able to spend time with Andria, who moved to Nairobi, back in September.  We are from the same home church in the States.  It has been so great spending time with her.... laughing, processing, and sharing life.  It was also so great for her to be able to meet Ketty.  We were all able to spend a good amount of time together.  We were even able to enjoy Dominoes Pizza Together.... We invited Ketty to our order in.... but surprise... surprise... she chose to eat none other than.... CHICKEN!  ( c : 

No Way... But.... 

Totally YES WAY! 

Two Happy Ladies... 

Already giving a thumbs up.... just based on smell and looks! 

And wowsers.... it was true Dominoes pizza..... A.M.A.Z.I.N.G! 

Love to you ALL!

T.H.A.N.K.F.U.L

A day of Thanksgiving.  A day of embracing.  A day of remembering... and a day of looking forward. A day of sitting underneath an umbrella and journaling.  I am thankful to have started up journaling. It's been a month and it has been so good to bring fingers to a pen and to write.  There has been much to write about.... and it's a muscle that I've been yearning to grow again.  And through writing, my soul has ventured through the ravines and paths of life.  Processing and praising.... remembering and preparing...crying and laughing.  It has been good and I am thankful.   And so here I sit....about to do what so many will do today as they share a meal with family and loved ones.  I am about to share the things that I am thankful for.

Watching as Ketty moved her pointer finger this morning.  It was a clear movement and a testimony too the reality that the radiation is shrinking/reducing (and God willing killing) the tumors within her brain.  The movement in her thumb and her pointer finger were the first to go... and seeing her pointer finger move this morning was huge.  Her movements in her arm, while still weak, are improving.  The movements are increasingly fluid.... not as spastic as they were.  We do not know how the story will end.... but today I am thankful for the movement in her finger.... a testimony to the gift of HIS power... HIS ability to use medicine to do what seemed impossible.  

I am thankful for the many, many who have stood by me this year.... through words of encouragement, prayers, and financial support.  I still can't believe that I am being used by Him in a small community in Uganda. I often can't believe it... but stink, I am so thankful.... so  so thankful!  

most (but not all) of my brothers
and sisters! 

I am thankful for the many friends that I have back in the States... and here in Uganda

Allie.... friends since 7th grade! 

U. Michael and A. Sarah

 And there are so many, many pictures of family and friends I COULD post.   Just putting up a few... though I wish I could put up so many more!



 So thankful! It has been a year full of hard things... but just as equally, it has been a year full of laughter and joy.  A testimony of HIM in me.  SO THANKFUL! 

Ketty and I .... along with the giraffe's (and Pat, of course!) 

Rebecca and I..... she has since
delivered a healthy baby girl.  

Wizeye being all goofy for the picture.
After this shot, he took a less goofy one. ( c : 

Thankful for the many children that I have had the honor of loving on.... and either sending them back to school or to the sick bay for more care.  What an honor to walk with these precious children...to take care of their not only their physical bodies, but their hearts as well!   My coworkers... we have walked through hard things this year... but God has sustained us and has not only strengthened us as a team.. but He has united us... and for them, I am thankful.  

Having the honor of knowing the kids in my family group.... for times to sit and chat leaning back against a hut.... or cooking food together in the kitchen.  Thankful to know them.... to go on snake hunts with them.... or holding them as they share their hearts.  

Momma Wizeye 

minutes before my grams memorial
service.

And thankful for my grams and for Wizeye.... two individuals I was very close with who went home to heaven within a handful of days.  It's been over a month and I still find myself thinking of them both... wondering how heaven is treating em.... and just thankful for them.  It's been a walk through a hard patch in the journey of life..... but not a journey I would ever exchange... I've learned in my life that it is often in the really really hard where I come out knowing Him a bit more. 

   

And did I mention that I killed my first snake this year?  It was a black mamba and with sweet baby Norah behind me and a team member... and the snake slithering away.... there was no time to let a man be a hero.  Picking up a bat.... I started beating the poor thing.... and beating it... and beating it.... until it was dead.... very, very dead! Thankful everyone was safe and that no one got hurt.  Black Mambas are very dangerous.  

 And I am thankful for my British friends and the flags that I obtained... and have had fun utilizing them this year.  ( c :  Oh..... so fun! I have learned to enjoy tea.... and have been blessed by my friends who are proudly citizens of England! ( c :

And opportunities to teach within the community..... where we talked about viruses and bacteria, malaria and fevers, and other topics.  They were a little timid in the beginning... but after pulling out some Luganda and engaging them... they loosened up pretty quickly.... I was thankful for their openness to learning and for the opportunity to share.  

 And the dryness of the day... makes one very thankful for water...   (that's water down in a cistern.  My friend Hannah and I are looking down taking a picture off the reflection of the water)

And by His provision through many of you, I was able to get a car this year.  It has already proven to be such a gift! It has gone on multiple trips to and from the hospital, on a journey through the bush, and has just been a blessing! I am thankful!

And I could continue on with other things I am thankful..as I know many of us could.  With one step in 2014 and one step preparing to step into 2015... I stand in a moment of reflection.  A year that has been stretching and rich.  I am thankful! And I am thankful for you all who have journeyed along with me.  I choose to dwell in the hope that we have in HIM and to rest in HIS promise.  He's got it all.... and He's got me!

 "I saw the Lord always before me, for He is at my right hand that I may not be shaken; therefore my heart was glad, and my tongue rejoiced; my flesh also will dwell in hope." 

Acts 2:25b-26

 Happy Thanksgiving Day to you All (truth be told this is a dead rooster.... but it still seemed appropriate for the day!)

Standing Firm....

It's late Saturday night... and by late... It's just a little past 9:30 PM  Yes, surely I am getting old.  I need to be awake till a little past 10 so that I can give Ketty her medications.  She is sound asleep in her bed near me.  Her music is blasting.  I have my own music on my computer.  My earplugs are channeling the music directly to my ears and into my mind.  I am listening to Keith and Kristyn Getty and their song, "By Faith".  

By faith we see the hand of God 
In the light of creation's grand design 
In the lives of those who prove His faithfulness 
Who walk by faith and not by sight  

By faith our fathers roamed the earth 
With the power of His promise in their hearts 
Of a holy city built by God's own hand 
A place where peace and justice reign  

We will stand as children of the promise 
We will fix our eyes on Him our soul's reward 
Till the race is finished and the work is done 
We'll walk by faith and not by sight  

By faith the prophets saw a day 
When the longed-for Messiah would appear 
With the power to break the chains of sin and death 
And rise triumphant from the grave  

By faith the church was called to go 
In the power of the Spirit to the lost 
To deliver captives and to preach good news 
In every corner of the earth  

We will stand...  

By faith this mountain shall be moved 
And the power of the gospel shall prevail 
For we know in Christ all things are possible 
For all who call upon His name  

We will stand...  

And stand we will.  That has been one of the things that we have intentionally decided to do.   God calls us to stand.... while He fights the battle.  And so she stands.  And so I stand.  And so do countless others in support of Ketty. God's got this. And no matter how the story ends, we will stand and rest in HIS character and HIS goodness.   We ask for physical healing.  We trust in whatever He decides. 

And while we stand... we will also rest in HIM.
Ketty has completed two of her ten scheduled radiation treatments.  


2 Chronicles 20:17
17 You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem.’ Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, and the Lord will be with you.”

Holding on, a plan, and preparing for radiation treatment #1

Ketty is sound asleep a few feet away from me.  She fell quickly asleep.  It won't be long before sleep finds me.  But, before that happens, I wanted to bring fingers to the keyboard and let you know what happened today at the doctor's appointment.  It was slated to happen at 2:30 PM, but it was just a few minutes before 5 before we actually saw him.  Ketty and I both sat and people watched, dozed, and chatted.  Our hearts anticipated, but I believe that we both had a strong peace.  Just earlier this morning, Ketty and I sat and reviewed the questions that we wanted to ask.  And we came prepared with CT scans, medical documents, and questions.  We came knowing that not only was Jesus at our side... but we also came with the prayer support of countless others.  We were not alone.  Dr. Abwao, Ketty's oncologist here in Nairobi, greeted us warmly.  He took time reviewing the paperwork, listening to us talk, and looking at her CT scans.  He was upfront and honest.  The overall sense was that he was hopeful.  Before we left, we talked about the next steps... 

His recommendations... 2 weeks of radiation to her brain followed by chemotherapy.  A month after she finishes the radiation, she will have another scan.  At that time... we will know how her body has responded to the treatment.  

A plan.  And next steps.  And continued trust in our God.  

As I often say, we don't know how the story ends.  And I would be so blunt to say.... we don't always understand the different paths that God brings us on.  BUT we do know that He is good.  That He is sovereign.  And He knows what He is doing.  And so, we pull in to Him.... and continue to walk as He leads.  He's got this and we choose to rest in that.  

This afternoon, a bit before Ketty and I saw the doctor, I came across this verse.  And I immediately thought of Ketty.   As I have had the honor to walk with her (as so many have), my own heart has been challenged in HUGE ways.  Ketty's left side is weak.... and in helping her walk, I support her from the right side.  I love the assurance that these passages bring and even the reminder that He is supporting His Ketty.... and His Kimberly... and His                 .   He's got us and with Him at our side, we do NOT need to be shaken.  Our tongues can rejoice and we can dwell in hope.  And in His presence, we can be full of gladness.  

Acts 2:25-28English Standard Version (ESV)

25 For David says concerning him,

“‘I saw the Lord always before me,
    for he is at my right hand that I may not be shaken;
26 therefore my heart was glad, and my tongue rejoiced;
    my flesh also will dwell in hope.
27 For you will not abandon my soul to Hades,
    or let your Holy One see corruption.
28 You have made known to me the paths of life;
    you will make me full of gladness with your presence.’

And so, this day comes to an end.  We have been given the next steps of the journey and so we walk.... knowing that He is at our side.  

And so on that promising note, I bring my fingers to a pause and prepare to go to sleep.  Thank you to the many, many who are journeying along Ketty.  Your words of encouragement and your prayers are a gift to her.... for sure! I read her your messages.  I do need to have an email party to respond to you all.... and I will. But in the meantime, know that she hears your words and her heart is encouraged.  

More later for sure.  I feel like I could write a novel.... and maybe one day I will.  But for tonight, I'll write a few quick emails and head off to sleep.   Peaceful sleep.   

Tomorrow, Ketty will have a marking scan of her brain.  And then... after the doctor reviews the scanning, she will have her first radiation treatment.  #1 of 10.